I'm Sorry

Magandang tanghali!

The more I read the scriptures and actively apply what I learn, the more I realized how prideful I've been and all the people I have hurt. I really don't like who I was before my mission. I wasn't bad. I was just really prideful. I wasn't teachable. If anyone suggested ways I could improve, I was hurt. I put other people down to pull myself up. I was boastful. I wasn't a good listener. I wouldn't accept help from others. I didn't tell people I appreciated them. 

For weeks I have had an overwhelming feeling to apologize to all my friends, family, teachers, and former companions. I really have felt a change of heart. I want to be corrected now. I actively ask for ways to improve and for others to help me identify my weaknesses. I rejoice when I identify weakness, I'm not ashamed of hurt by them anymore. I really want to be better. I want to be able to answer correctly the questions posed in Alma 5:

"could you say if you were called to die at this time, within yourself, that ye have been sufficiently humble?... Behold have ye stripped yourself of pride? I say unto you, if ye have not ye are not prepared to meet God"

Pride is a great stumbling block. It causes distance and division in our relationships with other people and it's hard to identify it in the many ways that it is manifest in our behavior. 

Pride stops us from being charitable. Ezra Taft Benson taught that whenever we are "withholding gratitude and praise that might lift another," we are manifesting the sin of pride. I am guilty of this the most. In the New Testimate charity is described as this: 

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 1 Corinthians 13: 4-5

Charity almost sounds like the opposite of pride or at least it is a great stumbling block in developing the attribute of charity. "If we have not charity, we are nothing," so we should work to identify our pride and correct it so that we can better care for and love other people.

I want to apologize for who I was. I'm sorry if I've ever put you down, neglected you, didn't listen to your feelings, or caused a barrier in our relationship because of my pride. I'm trying to be better. Thanks for being patient with me. I think you are amazing and I'm grateful for you in my life!

love,

-Sister Gray